


War Paint

by EmisFritish



Category: The Fosters (TV 2013)
Genre: 5 + 1 Fic, Angst, College, Fluff, High School, M/M, Slice of Life, Weddings, basically just jonnor going through life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-29
Updated: 2017-01-29
Packaged: 2018-09-20 16:58:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9500996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmisFritish/pseuds/EmisFritish
Summary: Five times Jude and Connor’s blue nail polish played an important role in their relationship, and the one time they shared the tradition with someone important. Vignettes of Connor and Jude throughout the years, and their life together.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I finished writing this the episode that Connor left to live with his mom, and because of it I never ended up posting this. Rewatching the episodes lately and seeing our babies fall in love again reminded me of this fic and that it was a bit of a waste to have it just sitting here, so there it is, in case some people still love and ship Jude/Connor. 
> 
> This is canon until the court episode obviously. Connor never leaves for LA, and our boys get the happy ending I wish they had had ;)

**1\. The Dinner**

Connor paced back and forth across the living room, wringing his hands together and wishing that Jude would just hurry up and arrive already. He hadn’t been this nervous since the night he came out to his father and he just wanted this whole evening to be over. Of course, he was happy he got to see Jude since he hadn’t seen him for a few days, but he couldn’t help but wish it was in different circumstances, where everything didn’t have such a potential to blow up in his face.

 

Since coming out to his father at the hospital a couple of weeks ago, Connor’s relationship with his him had become even more strained. His dad had allowed Jude to see him at the hospital and hadn’t pulled Connor from Anchor Beach like he had threatened to do, but that didn’t mean he was completely okay with his son being gay. Even though he had calmed down a bit, his father still wasn’t completely okay with Connor’s relationship with Jude.

 

With the way things were between them, Connor had been incredibly surprised when Adam invited Jude to dinner on Saturday night, claiming he wanted to get to know his son’s “friend” better. He felt the urge to remind his father that Jude was not only his friend, but his boyfriend; however, he refrained himself from doing so. If his father was willing to make an effort to get to know Jude, then Connor wanted everything to go as smoothly as possible, and provoking his father wasn’t the best way to go about it.

 

Since the LGBT Prom, Connor and Jude had been on cloud nine. They were both insanely happy; Jude had been a lot more open about their relationship, and he had surprised Connor with gestures like walking him to his classes at school while holding hands, or planning dates for them on the beach. Jude was finally completely comfortable in their relationship, and he didn’t hesitate to hug or hold hands with Connor anymore, not caring what anyone else might think. Because of the way things were between them, Connor didn’t want anything to ruin his newfound happiness, especially not his own father.

 

So yes, Connor was nervous. He was aware of how his father could be and how Adam could come off; Connor didn’t want his father to make a clumsy comment and offend Jude, and for Jude to get mad at him, even though Connor didn’t think Jude would get mad at him for something his father said or did. Still, he didn’t want to risk it. He was too happy with Jude to run the chance of anything spoiling their new relationship.

 

Connor was pulled from his thoughts by a knock on the front door. “I’ll get it,” he shouted, moving quickly towards it.

 

Once he opened the door, he instantly felt better when he saw Jude. Of course, Connor knew that Jude would come and that his arrival was just a matter of time, but he was still reassured to see the other boy. Connor understood that Jude wasn’t very comfortable with his father, and he knew this wasn’t easy for him. Still, the fact that Jude was there for Connor in spite of everything made Connor even happier to be with Jude.

 

Connor was also glad to see Jude because the other boy always seemed to have a calming effect on him. Connor tended to get emotional very easily and he had been freaking out about this meeting, while Jude was quieter and more relaxed in general, and he instantly managed to calm Connor down before even opening his mouth.

 

Connor looked Jude over and couldn’t help the fond smile that spread over his face. His boyfriend was wearing button-up shirt, obviously wanting to make an effort in front of Connor’s dad, which Connor really appreciated even if it wasn’t necessary. Jude tried to smile reassuringly at Connor, even if he too looked a little nervous.

“Hi,” Connor said with a small smile, taking Jude by the hand and pulling him inside before closing the door behind him. Jude squeezed his hand slightly and smiled.

“Hi,” he answered simply.

“You ready for this?” Connor asked. He knew this wouldn’t be an easy situation for Jude, and he wanted to make sure Jude knew Connor was there for and with him.

Jude laughed nervously. “Not really,” he answered, “but it’s good that he invited me, right? It means he’s willing to make an effort, and if he is, then I guess so am I. After all, I am used to Stevens madness with you around all the time!” Jude teased.

“Ha, ha, you are hilarious,” Connor answered, rolling his eyes. Still, he couldn’t deny that he felt better with Jude there; he appreciated that his boyfriend was trying to distract him. Seeing how nervous Connor was feeling, he wasn’t surprised that his boyfriend had surely noticed it and was joking around to help Connor relax, it was just a very Jude thing to do, and one of the reasons Connor liked him so much.

“Time to eat boys!” Connor’s dad called from the kitchen, instantly making Connor’s shoulders tense. Connor took Jude’s hand and pulled him towards the kitchen, dropping it right before they entered the room. He didn’t want to make his dad more uncomfortable than he already was.

Adam smiled awkwardly at the boys when they entered the room.

“Jude, hi, it’s nice to see you again,” he said.

“Hello Sir, you too. Thank you for inviting me,” answered Jude politely, before taking a seat next to Connor when Adam pointed at the chair.

“I hope you like pizza. I know it’s not nothing fancy but,” Adam started to explain. However, before he had the time to launch into an awkward explanation, Jude cut him off.

“Pizza’s fine. And trust me, I’ve lived in a lot of different foster homes, I can guarantee I’ve had worse.”

Adam just nodded awkwardly, but a sad look crossed Connor’s face. He rarely thought about Jude’s past, but he knew that the other boy hadn’t had an easy life, and he couldn’t imagine some of the things he had been through. Jude was pretty guarded on the subject and he didn’t really talk to Connor about these things, even though he was starting to open up more and more.

 

All three of them ate in silence, none of them really knowing what to say. Connor was too nervous to make conversation, and the fact that his father wasn’t saying anything when he usually wasn’t one to be shy just proved to Connor that his father was making efforts and didn’t want to ruin everything by saying the wrong thing. Connor could see his father opening his mouth a couple times as if to speak, but he then decided against it and remained silent. Jude tended to be quiet in general, so it didn’t surprise Connor when Jude stayed silent. After a few minutes of awkward silence, Adam spoke and tried to break the ice.

 

“So Jude, how’s baseball going? Have you practised a little more since last time?” he asked, trying to engage the other boy in conversation, which Connor was grateful for.

 

“I think baseball isn’t really my thing, as I’m sure you noticed when I dropped the bat last time,” said Jude, which prompted a smile from both Connor and his dad at the memory of Jude’s first experience at the batting cages. “I’ll stick to other activities and leave baseball for Connor. I wouldn’t want to steal his spot with the Padres!” he joked, which prompted a laugh from both Stevens men.

 

The mention of baseball seemed to relax the atmosphere, and Adam immediately launched into how Connor was playing. He started explaining what Connor could do to improve his game and ‘live up to his potential’, which had Connor wince slightly. He appreciated his father making conversation, but he wondered if anything he ever did would be good enough for the other man. A few seconds later, Adam changed his speech and insisted on how Connor was overall doing very well, surely having seen the look on his son’s face, and changed topics to the great season The Padres were having.

 

During Adam’s speech, Connor still felt a little tense even though he had relaxed some after his father changed topics, and he couldn’t help but being a little ashamed at what Jude must think of him and this whole situation. Connor felt Jude’s hand coming to rest on his knee under the table, and he felt Jude squeezing his knee gently, trying to show his support.

 

Connor looked down at Jude’s hand and smiled softly, which is when he noticed the blue nail polish on Jude’s hand. Connor’s breath caught in his throat at the sight, and he couldn’t stop himself from turning towards Jude even though Jude seemed to still be focused on what Adam was saying.

 

It probably wouldn’t have meant much to someone else, but to Connor, it meant everything. About a year ago when the boys had just met, Connor had been the one to wear the nail polish as a sign of solidarity and to show his support to Jude during the famous lunch which had sealed their friendship. Now, Jude was the one wearing their nail polish as a sign that he was there and supporting Connor, that Connor wasn’t alone.

 

Jude had called it “war paint” in the hospital and he had worn it to face Connor’s dad and try to get to see Connor. Seeing the blue color on Jude’s hands not only showed Connor that Jude would be willing to fight for him again if he had too, it made Connor realize that Jude wouldn’t run away, no matter what Adam said. Even though his father seemed to be on his best behavior tonight, Connor knew it wouldn’t always be the case and he felt so happy and relieved to have physical evidence that Jude was all in, and still willing to fight for them.

 

Connor took Jude’s hand under the table where it was resting on his knee and he squeezed it gently to show how grateful he was, even if he couldn’t say it out loud in front of his dad. Jude turned slightly towards Connor while Adam was occupied eating a slice of pizza and he sent him a huge smile, the one that Connor loved and where Jude’s eyes were barely discernable with the size of the smile.

 

The rest of the dinner went off without a hitch. Connor, who had relaxed immensely after seeing the nail polish, was able to participate in the conversation, which had made everything easier.

 

When it was time for Jude to leave, Connor accompanied him to the door, and while they were waiting for Brandon to arrive to pick Jude up, Connor leaned forward and kissed Jude on the lips. Connor kissed Jude deeply and tried to put everything he was feeling into the kiss. He tried to show Jude how much he appreciated him and everything the other boy did for him. When Connor and Jude broke the kiss off, Connor pulled back a little and smiled softly. When he saw the answering smile on Jude’s face, he knew that the other boy had understood what he was trying to say through the kiss.

 

When Brandon arrived to take Jude home, Connor waved them goodbye from the door before entering back into the house with a huge smile on his face. Connor closed the door behind him and leaned heavily against it, thinking of the evening and how well the evening had gone. Thinking back at Jude and the blue nail polish on his fingers, a small smile grew on Connor’s face. He really had the best boyfriend ever.

 

* * *

 

**2\. The Courthouse**

 

This was it, the day Jude and Callie had been waiting for impatiently had finally arrived, and Jude couldn’t remember being so nervous in a long time. About a week ago, Callie’s social worker had come to the Adams-Fosters household and explained that Callie’s hearing would be coming up, and that this was the moment that would determine if Callie could finally be adopted or not.

 

Since this announcement, Jude had been a mess and he didn’t know how to feel or react. For weeks, he had been so angry. Angry at the way their lives had turned out, angry that Callie wasn’t biologically his full sister, angry that stuff kept coming up to prevent her adoption… He had just been so angry in general, and he had no one to direct his anger at.

 

Jude was pacing back and forth in the long corridor in front of the courtroom, while waiting until they were finally allowed to enter the room and could know once and for all what was happening. Jude could see his entire family sitting in the chairs that were provided for them a little further away. Callie was sitting between Lena and Stef on each side of her, and she looked afraid and resigned at the same time.

 

Since Callie had started posting videos telling the flaws of the system, both Jude and Callie had been terrified that the judge wouldn’t grant her adoption. Jude had wanted her to keep a low profile, but Callie hadn’t listened to him and had told him that someone had to speak up for kids like them. She had been right of course, but that didn’t make it any easier for Jude. He was afraid that today was the day he would lose his sister, that after everything they had been through together, this way the day where everything would finally implode.

 

Jude could see that his entire family was nervous and scared, and he could feel Lena and Stef’s worried eyes on him, but he couldn’t make himself stop pacing and go and sit with them just yet. He had too much nervous energy to burn down, and he didn’t know how to calm down.

 

Jude’s pacing was interrupted when he felt a presence behind him and a strong hand came and rested on his shoulder.

 

“Jude.” he heard the person say from behind him, and he instantly deflated when he recognised the voice.

 

Jude turned around and came face to face with Connor. Just hearing his voice had managed to calm Jude down and seeing Connor there, Jude instantly lost some of the nervous energy he had been carrying around, even though a deep sadness was still present within Jude.

 

Connor looked at Jude with a certain sadness and compassion, and Jude felt tears well up in his eyes. Lately, he hadn’t been the best boyfriend at all. He had been avoiding him and had been quiet and distant when they did hang out together, but still, Connor was there.

 

Connor always ended up showing up when Jude needed him the most, and Jude couldn’t have asked for a better boyfriend. Seeing Connor standing in front of him, Jude felt so relieved and a small sad smile graced his face when he thought about how lucky he was. Connor knew him so well, and even though Jude had insisted that the other boy shouldn’t come today in an attempt to push him away, the other boy hadn’t listened and had come anyway.

 

For a few weeks, Jude and been distant and pushing Connor away. He had been so sure that the other boy would get tired of him and would get mad at him, but instead Connor had seemed to understand that something was wrong with Jude and that he just wasn’t ready to speak about it yet.

 

So instead of forcing Jude to speak, Connor had just silently comforted him by spending time with him and trying to distract him with video games and talks about the latest movies. Even though Jude had pushed him away times and times again, Connor had stayed and been there for Jude. Including today, when Jude had told him not to come which had hurt Connor’s feelings, and yet here he was. Jude had never been so happy to see him in his life.

 

“Look, I know you didn’t want me to…” Connor started to say, but he was cut off when Jude just stepped towards him and hugged him tight in front of everyone. Jude and Connor were usually pretty reserved with public displays of affection and they didn’t tend to touch each other a lot in front of other people, mainly because of Jude’s reluctance to be labelled, but in that moment Jude felt so happy to see Connor and so lucky to have him in his life that he couldn’t help but take him into his arms.

 

Connor hesitated for a few seconds but he seemed to sense that Jude needed him right now and after only a few seconds he put both of his arms around Jude and hugged him tight. Jude just let himself be held and for the first time in weeks, he was able to take strength in someone else and he felt like he could maybe face what was to come.

 

From the corner of his eye, Jude saw Stef and Lena looking at him with a sad look, before they turned towards Connor and smiled at him gratefully. Connor nodded softly, but he didn’t say anything and just kept holding Jude tight.

 

After long minutes, Jude finally let go of Connor and stepped back a little so he could look the other boy in the eyes.

 

“Thank you for not listening to me and coming anyway.” Jude said in a small broken voice.

 

“Always Jude, I’ll always be there for you.” Connor answered before smiling softly at the other boy.

 

“Callie Jacob, we are ready for you.” Jude heard a voice say from behind him, and when he turned around, he saw a kind looking woman which had come out from the courthouse and was now looking at their whole family, waiting for them to proceed into the room.

 

Jude turned back towards Connor, needing the see the other boy and Connor smiled reassuringly at him. Jude closed his eyes, and took a deep breath, before he opened them again and made his way inside the courthouse with his entire family in front of him and Connor following him.

 

Once they entered the room, Jude looked around and he was surprised to see so many people already sitting in the booths. The Adams-Fosters family made their way towards the booths at the front of the audience and Jude saw Connor making his way to a seat further in the back, probably trying to give the family some privacy.

 

Before he could walk away however, Jude took Connor’s hand in his and pulled him forward so that the other boy could sit next to him in the front row. If Jude was going to get through this hearing with all his sanity, he wanted to be able to feel Connor’s shoulder against his and be reminded that he wasn’t alone in this.

 

The judge started talking and like everyone had feared, he seemed to be pretty angry by what Callie had said in her videos and the hearing didn’t look like it would be going in their favor. Jude swallowed heavily, a few silent tears started running on his cheeks and he started shaking softly at the thought of losing his sister.

 

While Jude was focusing on his breathing and trying to understand what was being said by the judge and what new problem had arisen that would further delay Callie’s adoption, Jude felt Connor take his hand and squeeze it between both of his own, before he put them on his knee.

 

Not wanting Connor to see how vulnerable and sad he was by seeing the tears running down his cheeks, Jude focused on their hands that were linked on Connor’s knee and that’s when he noticed a deep blue color on Connor’s nails.

 

Jude felt a deep ball of emotion clogging his throat and for a moment he swallowed, not knowing what to say at the display in front of him. Jude couldn’t believe that this amazing boy had once again taken his breath away and surprised him with the kind gesture, just like he had the very first time he had worn the nail polish as a sign of solidarity at lunch, many months ago.

 

Connor seemed to notice what Jude was staring at, and Jude felt the other boy leaning closer to him before he heard Connor whisper in his ear: “I know you’ve lost all hope and this is pretty bad right now, but like you said, this is war paint, and right now, I’m ready to fight and believe for the both of us.”

 

Hearing the boy’s words, Jude forgot to feel ashamed at the tears running down his cheeks and he looked up into Connor’s eyes, only to see the love he was feely in his heart reflected in the other boy’s eyes. Jude felt of surge of love and affection towards the other boy, and he just squeezed Connor’s hand in a silent thank you, before he dropped his head on Connor’s shoulder, just waiting for the hearing to be done with.

 

Connor kept one of Jude’s hand in his, but he brought the other one to rest around Jude’s shoulders and Jude felt him pressing a kiss in his hair, probably trying to comfort Jude and having no idea just how effective it was. Jude closed his eyes and just focused on the feeling of Connor’s hand on his, and his strong shoulder beneath his head, taking his strength in the other boy.

 

Jude wished he could show his boyfriend how much he appreciated him and what he was doing by kissing him, but they didn’t do this very often, and Jude knew that he couldn’t indulge in this type of behavior in a courthouse. Instead of doing that, he kept his head on Connor’s shoulder for the rest of the hearing and enjoyed the feeling of security he had around Connor.

 

When the verdict was pronounced and the bad news came that Callie would have to wait yet again to be adopted because of another loophole, Jude felt an incredible sadness surrounding him and he was devastated at the idea that his sister would have to move out, even if only temporarily.

 

Jude felt Connor move slightly next to him, he looked back down towards their links hands and he felt just a tiny bit better. Things were awful right now, and the whole family was so sad and Jude felt lost and confused, but he knew that he wasn’t alone. Jude knew that Connor would fight for him and stand by him no matter what happened.

 

Jude looked up towards the other boy and wondered once again how he got so lucky to have such an amazing boy in his life, and what he did to deserve such an incredible boyfriend. Life was hard, Jude knew this better than anyone, but with a boy like Connor by his side, he knew he would be ok and they would get other this. Together.

 

* * *

 

**3\. The Baseball game**

 

Connor was going to throw up. The boy was standing in his bathroom, leaning against the sink and looking at himself in the mirror. Connor could see that he was white as a sheet, and his eyes were big and worried. This was going to be a disaster and Connor couldn’t seem to calm down. He couldn’t remember being as nervous as he was right now, especially not before playing baseball, which was a sport he loved so much.

 

Connor had been playing baseball for a little more than 10 years. He had been on the school baseball team since he was in Junior High. And now that he was a senior in high school, he was more than used to the pre-game jitters. He had done this countless times and usually, he loved the thrill of the game, the anticipation he could feel rising within him before entering the field, the stress and excitement that mixed up inside of him and reminded him of why he loved this game so much.

 

But tonight wasn’t like any other night, and this game was one of the most important games he would play in his life. Tonight, an important scout had come to see Connor play and he would determine if Connor was good enough to get a scholarship and pursue his baseball career in college while getting a free education, or if this was it for Connor and baseball.

 

Not only was Connor nervous because of the game coming up, but to make matters even worse, he had also gotten into a fight with Jude, which he really hated, especially when it happened before an important game.

 

Connor and Jude had been together for more than 5 years, and they had gone through a lot together. They had survived the summer Connor’s father insisted he went to baseball camp for three whole months, they had survived the transition from Junior High to High school and evolving in different circles with Connor being into sports, and Jude being into Theater and Music a lot more, they had survived travelling for an entire month together, being together 24 hours a day without killing each other.

 

Their relationship had been through a lot, and of course, they had fought many times before and Connor knew they were going to be ok. But that didn’t mean he still didn’t hate fighting with Jude, especially about a stupid thing like this.

 

For weeks, Connor had been on edge. Jude had been accepted into his choice of college about a month ago and he had gotten a pretty good scholarship too. He knew where he was going to go come next year, what he was studying, and what his future would be like. Connor on the other hand, still hadn’t gotten answers from his choices of colleges and tonight’s game would determine whether he got into his first choice or not. His entire future was riding on one game, and the pressure and stress had caused him to snap at Jude.

 

For a while, he had been stressed out and anxious and had been getting angry very quickly and for no reason. Because Jude knew him by heart, he had understood that it was because Connor was stressed out and he had reassured Connor times and times again that it was ok, and that he knew Connor didn’t mean it.

 

Still, yesterday Connor had gone too far and when Jude had announced that he couldn’t come to the game tonight because Stef’s mom was coming into town and they had a family thing planned, Connor had lost it and had gotten so mad at Jude and had said such hurtful things that Jude had ended up storming out of his house and telling him that they would talk again once the game was over and Connor had cooled down.

 

Connor regretted getting mad at Jude the minute the other boy had left his house, and he had been wishing Jude would text him back or answer one of his calls so he could apologise. The truth was, he had been hurt and that had caused him to lash out. Tonight was the most important game he had ever played, and the fact that Jude wouldn’t be there to see it had hurt Connor deeply. Still, he knew that it wasn’t really Jude’s fault and that if the other boy had had a choice, he would have been there tonight.

 

Taking a deep breath, Connor tried to calm down and focus on the game he would have to play in a couple hours. His performance tonight would determine whether or not Connor could get into one of the best colleges in the country, and most of all, how far he would be from Jude during their college years.

 

Granted, the situation wouldn’t be ideal either way, considering that the boys would go to different colleges no matter what, and that even if Connor impressed the scout with his performance tonight, he would still be going to college about four hours away from where Jude was going, which was a lot for the boys that were used to being in the same school since they had started dating a little more than five years ago. Still, it was better than the alternative and it would allow both Jude and Connor to pursue their dreams while being in the same state.

 

Connor opened up the tap and poured some water onto his face, trying once again to calm down and regain focus. The cool water running down his skin seemed to help a little, and when Connor lifted his head back up, he was determined to do the best he could tonight, and that he would fix the situation with Jude after the game.

 

From the corner of his eye, a little bottle of blue nail polish caught Connor’s attention and an idea popped into his head. Jude might not be able to be there physically with Connor tonight, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t be there in spirit with Connor tonight and putting on the nail polish would mean Connor felt his presence while he was playing later today. War paint seemed like the exact thing Connor needed in that moment to give his very best tonight, and do everything he could to play well and try and win the game.

 

A few hours later, Connor was on the field and ready to do his best. His teammates had laughed good-naturedly when they had seen the blue nail polish on his fingers, but Connor couldn’t care less. Whenever the blue color caught his eye, a wave of relief and love washed through him and he felt better just looking at his fingers, he felt less alone.

 

For the first half of the game, Connor managed to play fairly well, although he recognized that it wasn’t the best game he had played. Every time he came to the bat, he could hear his father and his teammates cheering for him. The encouragement coupled with the blue nail polish gave him strength to play, but the nerves were still eating at him and were preventing him from giving the best performance he could give.

 

Thirty minutes into the game, Connor was resting on the side of the field in between two innings. Every couple of minutes, he couldn’t help but glance towards where the scout was sitting and he was hoping that the way he was playing tonight would be enough to convince him, even though it wasn’t his best.

 

“Hey 23! What are you doing out there?” said a voice Connor instantly recognized from behind him.

 

Connor whipped around so quickly he almost lost his footing, and he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Here, standing in front of him, was Jude. The other boy had a teasing smile, but he still looked a little uncertain and vulnerable after their fight from the day before.

 

A wave of guilt washed through Connor. He had done that, he had made Jude look this vulnerable and uncertain and he hated that. Still, Jude was there, he had come. The other boy was wearing a Baseball jersey which was too large on him and fell slightly off one of his shoulders, and Connor realized belatedly that Jude was wearing his jersey number.

 

Connor took a step closer to Jude, so surprised and happy to see the other boy there but not knowing how to react after their fight.

 

“Jude, I’m…” he started to apologize, but Jude just cut him off with a wave of his hand, as if pushing the incident in the past.

 

Connor just nodded, grateful that Jude was willing to forget about what happened and help Connor focus on the present and this game. Remembering the game and what night it was, Connor frowned softly. Jude wasn’t supposed to be there, he had a family reunion and he couldn’t be there, which was what had started this whole fight in the first place.

 

“What are you doing there?” he asked softly and with a gently smile. He hoped Jude understood that he wasn’t unhappy that he was there, but rather that he didn’t understand how he could be with him right now.

 

“Well, it was supposed to be a surprise… I should have known better, my surprises never seem to work out.” Said Jude with a self-deprecating laugh, remembering when he had tried to surprise Callie with a birthday party a couple years ago. “It’s the game you’ve been waiting for for months, one of the most important games you’ll play, I wouldn’t have missed it for the world. So I just told my moms that I was sorry, but that my boyfriend was playing a very important game, and that I wanted to be there to see him kick ass. They understood of course, they love you too. I have to say though, I haven’t seen much ass kicking yet….” Continued Jude teasingly.

 

A laugh bubbled out of Connor’s mouth, and he just stepped even closer to Jude and took the other boy in his arms, hugging him tight and trying to show how happy and grateful he was that Jude was here. Connor was so unbelievably happy. He couldn’t believe that Jude was here supporting him and that he was proudly wearing his jersey number of top of that. Knowing the other boy as much as he did, Connor should have known that Jude wouldn’t just miss the game, but he had been so stressed out lately that the idea that Jude might have been surprising him didn’t even occur to him.

 

He hugged the other boy a little tighter and he felt Jude press a kiss to his temple, before the other boy pulled back slightly, taking both of his hands in his. Connor saw Jude do a double take when the other boy noticed the blue nail polish gracing Connor’s fingers, and although a loving smile spread on Jude’s face at the sight, Jude didn’t comment and just squeezed Connor’s hands once before letting them go.

 

“So, not that I don’t appreciate seeing my boyfriend running around in very tight pants, that alone would make this a worthy evening for me, but are you ready to go back out there and kick ass like I know you can? I know this is a stressful game and a lot is riding on this, but Con, this is the game you love so much. And you’re good at it, so just go out there and have fun. And just remember that no matter the outcome, I love you and I’ll be there when you’re done.” Jude said, looking Connor in the eyes to show how serious he was and how much he meant those words.

 

Connor smiled brightly in answer, and he couldn’t help but hug his boyfriend one more time before letting go.

 

“You know what? I think I’ll do just that. Thank you Jude, really.” He said, smiling towards Jude and his heart swelling with love for the other boy.

 

“Any time Con, any time. Now go and kick ass.” Jude said, turning Connor around and hitting his butt slightly which prompted Connor to turn back around and look incredulously at his boyfriend, before he laughed out loud when he saw the wink Jude sent his way.

 

Connor ran back towards the field just in time for the game to resume. When it was his turn to bat, Connor made his way forward towards the batting area.

 

“GO CONNOR! WE LOVE YOU!” Connor heard Jude screamed from the stands, and turning towards the voice, he saw his boyfriend and Taylor holding a he sign with his name and jersey number. He laughed lightly and smiled at them, but then a mop of light blond hair next to Jude caught his eye and his breath caught in his throat when he looked to Jude’s right.

 

Standing next to Jude and cheering for him, was the entire Adams-Fosters family. Stef and Lena were smiling proudly, and next to them Connor could see all of Jude’s brothers and sisters, even though they were all scattered around the country in different colleges. Connor also noticed an older lady standing next to Stef and whom he recognized as being Jude’s grandmother, and he couldn’t help the huge smile that took over his face when he saw that she was cheering for him as if she was his biggest fan.

 

His eyes turned back to Jude, who was still busy shouting his name and bouncing up and down with the huge sign he was holding and proudly wearing his jersey, and he smiled brightly at him. The sight of his boyfriend and his entire family being here and cheering for him as well as his father’s loud voice shouting encouragements at him finally gave him some confidence and squashed the last of his nerves. He could do this.

 

A few weeks later, Connor received his acceptance letter in the mail after having played one of the best second halves of his life. Connor rushed to his car and made his way to school as quickly as he could while staying safe, the only thought on his mind finding Jude and sharing this with him. Connor parked the car, and quickly made his way towards the school entrance. He almost ran through the corridors until he saw Jude, standing in front of his locker just like Connor knew he would be

 

“Hey Connor, what are you doing here this…” Jude started to say, only to be cut off by Connor coming straight towards him and kissing him right there, in the middle of the senior lockers, not caring who saw them. It was impossible to be more in love with someone, and now that both boys would be going to college in the same state and only a few driving hours away from each other, Connor was hell bent on enjoying that fact for many more years.

 

* * *

 

**4\. The College Blues**

 

Jude was sound asleep when he heard someone banging loudly at his door. He reached blindly for his phone on the nightstand next to his bed and saw that it was nearly midnight. Jude groaned at whoever was at the door and waking him up at this time when he had been looking forward to having an early night for once.

 

He looked towards the other bed thinking that maybe his roommate was expecting someone, but he found the other bed empty and remembered that Cody had told him that he was going to sleep in his newly found girlfriend’s room tonight. Jude groaned once again at the idea of getting out of bed, but when the person knocked a second time he forced himself to get up and after quickly putting on a pair of sweatpants over his boxers, he made his way to the door and opened it, only to have one of the biggest surprise she had had in a while.

 

On the other side of the door, was Connor, and the other boy looked miserable. Jude quickly got over his surprise and seeing the tears running down his boyfriend’s cheeks, he quickly took him into his arms and hugged him tight before even saying anything.

 

“I’m sorry for coming so late, I just needed to see you.” Said Connor with a shaky voice, before hiding his face into Jude’s neck and hugging back the other boy.

 

“It’s okay Con, you know I’m always happy to see you and you can come whenever you want.” Replied Jude, before detangling himself from Connor and taking the other boy by the hand to pull him into the room and closing the door behind them.

 

Jude pushed Connor towards the bed so that the other boy would sit on it. He stood in front of Connor, between the boy’s legs and ran his hands through Connor’s hair, knowing how much the other boy felt comforted by the gesture. Connor dropped his head to rest against Jude’s stomach and took a deep breath, trying to calm himself.

 

After about a minute or two of Jude just running his hands through Connor’s hair and the two boys sitting in relative silence, Connor lifted his head and he looked at Jude, smiling sadly. Jude ran his hands down Connor’s cheek, cupping his face, before he kissed Connor gently on the forehead and sat next to him on the bed.

 

“Are you okay? Did something happen?” Jude finally asked, when he saw that Connor has calmed down, although the boy still looked miserable. Connor shook his face, unable to explain what he was feeling yet and just sat there with silent tears running down his cheeks.

 

Jude hated seeing Connor in such a state, and he instantly felt his heart wrench in his chest at the sight of his boyfriends tears.

 

“Aw Con, I’m so sorry.” Jude said with a shaking voice, before pulling Connor into a hug. Jude maneuvered so that the both of them were sitting against his bed headboard and he put both of his arms around Connor and just caressed his boyfriend’s back, happy to just hold the other boy tight until Connor was ready to talk about what was bothering him.

 

“It’s just all so hard.” Said Connor in a quiet and shaken voice after a few minutes of silence. Connor now had his own arms around Jude’s stomach and his face was hidden in his boyfriend’s neck. He didn’t move away from his position to talk, but Jude was able to understand him nevertheless.

 

“What is hard?” asked Jude trying to understand, and still holding Connor close to him.

“College, everything.” Connor said, trying to explain what he was feeling. He took a big breath and continued: “I love baseball, and I know I’m lucky to be able to play in that team, but… I’m just tired of everything. A lot of my classes are so hard I don’t even know if I’ll be able to pass my exams and will probably have to retake most of them, I don’t have any friends there, my teammates don’t really like me, and most of all… you’re not there. I’m so alone all of the time and I miss you so much. I knew going to different colleges would be difficult, but I didn’t expect it to be this hard either, I didn’t expect to miss you every second of every day.”

 

By the end of his explanation, Connor was crying again and hugging Jude as tight as he could, and Jude also had tears pooling in his eyes. He knew things had been hard for his boyfriend, they skyped at least twice a week and Jude had seen that Connor was unhappy, but he hadn’t realized it had been this bad for him either, he hadn’t realized the separation would be this hard for him. Of course, now that Jude thought about it, he felt a little stupid and realized that he should’ve known what it would be like.

 

In high school, Connor had always been the more popular of the two of them. He had baseball, he had a physique that had all the girls falling for him, even though he only had eyes for Jude since he was 13 years old, he had an outgoing personality and tons of friends. In comparison, Jude tended to be shyer and more reserved. He had a few close friends in high school and he had Connor, which was enough for him, but he never had the booming social life his boyfriend had.

 

Entering college, everyone expected that Jude would be the one having the most difficulties adapting, being more reserved in general and that Connor would fit right it, but to everyone’s surprise, including Jude’s, it ended up being the contrary.

 

Jude, being a foster kid for a long time, was in fact very adaptable and was used to changing the place where he lived all of the time, he was used to having to meet a whole new set of people, and even if that didn’t happen, being alone had never bothered him. Arriving in college, he had actually met quite a few people that he had a lot in common with and had ended up getting new friends fairly quickly. Of course, he missed Connor like crazy every day, and he wished he could see his family more, but he hadn’t had any difficulties finding his place in college.

 

On the contrary, from what Jude knew about Connor and had gathered on their skype sessions, for Connor the transition hadn’t been that smooth. The other boy was used to being liked and popular, he was used to being surrounded by people and going from that, to arriving in college where no one knew him, where he had to prove himself all over again on the baseball team, and where Jude wasn’t there had proved very hard for him. The distance between Jude and Connor was difficult for both boys, but so far, the general college experience had been a lot more enjoyable for Jude than it had for Connor.

 

Jude hugged his boyfriend closer to his body and kissed his hair, just whispering reassuring words into Connor’s ear until the other boy calmed down.

 

“It’s ok, I’m here, I love you Con. I’m here.” Jude whispered to his boyfriend, while he rubbed his back and held him closely. Connor calmed down little by little and after about half an hour, Jude realized that the other boy had fallen asleep on Jude’s torso. Jude untangled Connor’s body from his and he pushed Connor further until he was lying on the bed. Jude slowly got off the bed and took off Connor’s shoes, and his phone and keys from his jeans, not daring to take off the pants all together in case he woke up his boyfriend, but wanting Connor to be comfortable at the same time. Jude took his and Connor’s phones, and he switched the alarms on both of the phones, figuring no one was going to go to class tomorrow anyway, so they didn’t need to be woken up at dawn and could enjoy sleeping in together instead.

 

Once he had done all of that, Jude hit the light off and laid back down next to Connor, he pulled the comforter over the both of them and put his arms around Connor, hoping the other boy would feel safe and protected in Jude’s arms, just like Jude often felt when Connor held him. While Connor slept somewhat peacefully, sleep seemed to be evading Jude. He was trying to think of what he could tell his boyfriend tomorrow to reassure him and to make sure Connor would be happier in the future. After a while and a lot of thinking, Jude finally felt his eyes close down and he settled deeper into his bed, still holding Connor tight and figuring he would talk to Connor in the morning.

 

The next day, when Jude woke up and opened his eyes he found Connor laying across from him with his eyes already open and looking at contemplating him. Both boys were laying on their sides and one of Jude’s arms was still around Connor’s waist, while the other was in between them where Connor was holding his hand tightly.

 

“Hi” croaked Jude, smiling softly still half asleep.

 

“Hi” answered Connor, before lifting his hand to run it through Jude’s disheveled bed hair. “Nice shirt by the way, I didn’t notice yesterday.” He continued with a soft smile, while he pulled gently at the shirt.

 

Jude looked down to what he was wearing, and smiled when he saw what shirt Connor was referring to. Yesterday before going to bed, Jude had put on the ‘I’m not gay but my boyfriend is’ shirt that Connor had given to him years ago, and he was glad that Connor seeing that managed to put a smile on his boyfriend’s face, even though it looked a little melancholic and sad.

 

“Are you feeling a little better?” asked Jude with concern, still holding Connor tight with one arm and taking hold of his hand with the other.

 

“Yes, I am. Thank you. Sorry for barging in like that, I just really needed to see you.” Replied Connor.

 

Jude shook his head and pushed forward a little to kiss Connor on the mouth gently. “You know you never have to apologize to me for that, I’m happy to see you, always.” He said, which pulled another small smile out of Connor.

 

Jude just stayed close to Connor and both boys exchanged slow kisses, happy to be close to each other in spite of the circumstances. After a few minutes, Jude pulled back from Connor a little nuzzled his nose with Connor’s before pulling back further to better look at Connor.

 

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked gently, probing Connor to speak to him.

 

Connor stayed quiet for a little while, seeming to think about how he was going to articulate what he was thinking.

 

“It’s just… things seem to be a lot easier for you than they are for me…” Connor confessed. Jude knew that Connor always tried to present a happy and strong front for Jude, and that he didn’t like to be vulnerable in front of other people, even though he knew Jude would never judge him.

 

“They’re not really though. I mean, they are in a way, I’ve met people that I really like, but I miss you like crazy too you know?” Jude said, trying to show Connor that he wasn’t alone and that Jude too missed him a lot.

 

“I know.” He said, before pressing a quick kiss to Jude’s mouth. “It’s just, you seem to be fitting in and adapting easier than I am. What do you think I should do?” he asked in a small voice.

 

“I can’t really tell you what to do Con, I mean I could, but I’m not sure it would help. I know your classes seem hard right now, and that it feels that you’ll never succeed in them, but Con, I know you, you’re smart. Everyone has a hard time adapting to their classes at the beginning, and it will get better as the semester moves along. Hell, some of my classes are kicking my butt right now.” Jude confessed.

 

“They are?” asked Connor with a small voice, and Jude smiled when he saw that Connor seemed to be a little comforted by the idea that things weren’t running as smoothly for Jude as they seemed to be. Jude knew that Connor would never wish any ill-being onto Jude, but he also understood that Connor would be relieved to know he wasn’t the only one struggling.

 

“They are.” Said Jude with a kind smile. “As for the people… I think you should maybe try a little less to be the person everyone likes, and just be your adorable and lovable self. I know that you want your teammates to recognize the great player you are, and I know you want people in your classes to like you, and trust me, they will, you are a great player and it’s so easy to get along with you, but I don’t think you can push it. I think if you just go back there and act like yourself, things will just fall into place. Maybe you won’t be Mr.Popular right away like you were in high school, but I promise you you’ll find your people.”

 

“Ok, ok.” Said Connor, nodding his head in agreement with what Jude was saying.

 

“I know things are hard right now, but trust me, they are going to get better. Plus, I’m already the weird, shy and gangly one of the two of us, and there can only be one of those per relationship, so I’m very sorry, but you’re going to have to go out and be the popular and handsome one, that’s just the way it is.” Jude teased Connor, hoping to get a laugh out of the other boy.

 

Connor laughed at his boyfriend’s teasing and pushed Jude on his back before rolling on top of him. “I don’t know, you’re definitely weird Jude, but I don’t think you’re all that gangly anymore.” Connor flirted, while he pushed his body down on Jude’s to feel the other boy’s form under him. While Jude was a skinny kid when they were thirteen, the boy had since grown into his body and Connor had seen him naked enough times to know that he definitely wasn’t gangly or skinny anymore. He now had lean muscles that Connor loved to explore for hours with his mouth.

 

Jude laughed too and put both of his arms around Connor’s neck before pulling him down to kiss him. They exchanged a few languid kisses before Connor pulled back and some of the darkness seemed to creep back up his face.

 

“I have to go back to college today.” He said, to remind himself of what was to come.

 

“You do.” Said Jude with a small, sad smile. “We’re already missing one day of classes today, and while I wished we could spend everyday together in bed like this, I don’t think either of our parents, advisors or professors would be too happy with that.”

 

“Can I ask something? Could we agree that one of us makes the trip to see the other every second week end so that we can see each other at least two weekends a month? I know that we said that we would do it once a month so that we could meet people and adapt, but this month has been hell, and I just need to see you, and I…”

 

Jude cut his boyfriend off with a kiss before Connor worked himself up in a frenzy.

 

“Yes, we definitely can. I’ve missed you and skype isn’t enough. So yes, let’s do that, it’s a good idea.” Said Jude.

 

Connor sighed in relief and Jude could tell that the prospect of seeing him again in less than two weeks made the idea of going back to college today a little easier.

 

“In the meantime, I think I have something that will make you feel better.” Jude said, before he pushed Connor away from him a little rolled out of bed. He made his way to his bedside table and looked through his drawer.

 

“What? Are we going to take advantage of the fact that your roommate isn’t there before I leave? Because that would definitely cheer me up!” joked Connor, eyeing the drawer where his boyfriend was searching for something.

 

Jude turned towards his boyfriend and smiled coyly “Oh, we will definitely do that before you leave, trust me. But no, this is something else.” Finally, Jude seemed to find what he was looking for and he came back towards Connor who was laying on the bed on top of the covers. Jude showed Connor the familiar blue bottle he was holding and Connor’s face lit up, before a warm, loving smile took over his face.

 

Jude sat on the bed and Connor lifted himself up until he was sitting next to his boyfriend. Jude took one of Connor’s hand in his and kissed it gently, before putting the hand on his knee and starting to meticulously paint each finger nail in blue. Jude did both of Connor’s hands, and when he was done and lifted his head, he saw that Connor was smiling softly and couldn’t help but kiss the smile off of his boyfriend’s face.

 

After a few minutes of kissing (while being careful not to ruin Connor’s nail polish and letting it dry), Connor asked Jude: “Can we do yours too? So that we match maybe?”

 

Jude smiled brightly at his boyfriend’s suggestion and nodded his head in agreement, so Connor painted Jude’s fingernails. One the nail polish was dry for both boys, Jude linked their fingers together and admired how the blue on his and Connor’s hand matched and how difficult it was to tell which finger belonged to whom.

 

“Now, should we take advantage of the fact that Cody is the best roommate ever and that he left us the room for the hours we have before you drive back?” asked Jude while leering at Connor.

 

“Absolutely.” Said Connor, before he pushed Jude down on the bed and kissed him thoroughly, intent on using the other stuff that Connor knew Jude had in his bedside drawer before long.

 

After a few hours of reacquainting themselves with the other and enjoying each other’s company, both boys knew it was time for Connor to go back if he wanted to be back at college at a reasonable time. The four drive could be tiring and it was best if Connor didn’t have to do it when it was dark.

 

Before Connor left, Jude accompanied him to his car and hugged him tight.

 

“You’re going to do great Con, I know it. And every time you feel lonely, just look down at your hands and remember that I am here for you, even though I might not be physically there, and remember that I love you. But most of all, remember that I am super gay _for you_.”

 

After those words, Connor felt cold glass in his hands and he looked down just in time to see Jude closing his fingers over the familiar blue bottle.

 

Connor felt a fond smile reach his lips, and it only grew when Jude leaned in and kissed his cheek softly.

 

“Go and kick ass 23, I’ll see you in two weeks.”, said Jude and Connor pecked him on the lips again before making his way to his car, feeling a lot lighter than he had yesterday. Two weeks, he could do that.

 

And looking down at his fingers, he vowed that he’d make the most of it and he’d make Jude proud.

 

* * *

 

**5\. The wedding**

 

“I just don’t understand why I can’t stay with Jude.” Repeated Connor for the fifth time in about an hour.

 

Taylor, who was sitting on top of his desk just sighed and rolled her eyes, not even looking up from her phone. Connor side-eyed her and frowned in unhappiness.

 

He knew he was being childish and annoying Taylor, he also knew that this was supposed to be a good night and he was supposed to feel elated and excited, and he was to some extent, but he also couldn’t help but feel a little young and lost, and he just wanted to _see Jude damn it._

 

“Con, I know you want to see Jude _. Trust me_ , I understood the first 30 times you told me.” Taylor explained yet again with a pinched voice. “But you can’t. First, because it’s supposed to be terrible luck and I think you and Jude have had enough of that to last you a lifetime, and second, because frankly, his sisters terrify me and they would kill me if I let you go and see him.”

 

Connor just sighed loudly in answer and dropped down on his bed, face first in his pillow. He realized he was acting like a moody teenager, but quite frankly, he just didn’t feel comfortable being in this room anymore.

 

Connor turned onto his back and looked around the room he hadn’t lived in for more than 5 years. When he and Jude had been in college, Connor would come back to his childhood room during breaks for the first two years, but when he was a Junior, him and Jude had taken to spend all of their breaks together and Connor would very often spend his breaks at the Adams-Fosters house and sleep there, even though he would of course drop by to see his father often.

 

Him and Jude being in different colleges had been difficult. Both of them had had a hard time with being apart from each other, and had missed each other terribly. Because they already had to be separated during most of the semester, they had quickly decided that they wanted to enjoy each other’s presence as much as they could while they were on break, therefore spending their time together in one of their houses.

 

His father had come a long way since Connor had been in middle school and he was a lot more tolerant towards Connor and Jude’s relationship, but Connor still didn’t feel comfortable flaunting his relationship in his dad’s face by living in his house with Jude, hence both of them temporarily living together in Jude’s childhood room every break.

 

Being in this room just reminded Connor of a different time, a time when he wasn’t as happy as he was today and when he didn’t have Jude. These weren’t the memories he wanted to relive right before the happiest day of his life, which explained the moodiness.

 

Frankly, all he wanted was to spend his last night as a bachelor curled up with Jude on their ratty couch in their apartment watching TV, just like they did every other night, he didn’t understand why that had to change because they were getting married tomorrow.

Thinking of their wedding brought a sappy smile on Connor’s face and the feeling of happiness that had resided in his chest ever since he and Jude had gotten engaged was brought back ten force.

 

Connor knew that he was supposed to feel nervous at the idea of being with only one person for the rest of his life, but frankly, he didn’t have it in him to be nervous about a thing right now. It had always been Jude for him and saying so in front of their friends and family wouldn’t change a thing of what he felt deep down.

 

Connor had known for many years that he was going to spend the rest of his life with Jude. It wasn’t news for him and them getting engaged and married was just a way to celebrate their love and devotion in front of their friends and family, not a way to insure what they both knew to be true anyway, that they loved each other and wanted to spend the rest of their days together.

 

Still, Connor couldn’t help the giddy feeling at the idea of getting married to Jude.

 

“I’m getting married tomorrow.” Connor sighed dreamily, turning his face towards Taylor who was texting, perched on his desk. “I’m going to be Mister Adams-Fosters.”

 

Taylor looked towards her goofy friend and just laughed.

 

“Well someone’s in a better mood. I will always be fascinated with your ability to cheer yourself up with an internal monologue, maybe you could teach me some day. Plus, weren’t you both keeping your last names?”

 

“Well, we are.” Said Connor, blushing slightly. “But you know what I mean…”

 

“Not really. But I’m glad you’re happy Connor, you and Jude both deserve it. Plus I love seeing the blushing bride in you.” Taylor teased him.

 

“Shut up” answered Connor, blushing once again. He knew it was a little ridiculous but he was still excited at the idea that he would be Jude’s tomorrow and Jude would be his, and Taylor had taken a huge pleasure in teasing the death out of him for that.

 

Before Taylor had the time to say anything else, the door to Connor’s room opened up and Connor couldn’t help the surprise and panic that took him when he saw who had just entered his bedroom.

 

“What are you guys doing here? Is everything okay with Jude?” he asked instantly, sitting up on his bay.

 

“Relax Connor, Jude’s perfectly ok. He’s just being a little… moody so we just thought we could come and see how you were doing.” Answered Callie.

 

“Well, if you came here to get away from moodiness, I’m afraid you came to the wrong place.” Taylor pointed out helpfully, before laughing when Connor threw a cushion at her.

 

“Seriously, Judicorn is driving me crazy! “ _Mariana, you know the whole idea of the groom not seeing the bride the night before the wedding would work a lot better if I don’t know… one of us were in fact a bride!”._ This boy doesn’t have one romantic bone in his body, I swear to god. So we just left him with Moms for a while, they can deal with him.” Complained Mariana, although Connor saw the fondness she felt when she spoke about her brother.

 

“Well, he does have a point.” Connor pointed out, laughing at the thought of Jude saying that. It was such a Jude thing to say and Connor couldn’t help the smile that took up his face when he thought of Jude being his sassy self.

 

“Girls, you know Jude and I have been together for more than 10 years right? We went through middle school, high school, through a long distance relationship all through college and all the stress of Jude’s new job, etc… I don’t think one stupid night will curse us and break us up forever. Even if it is the night before our wedding.” Connor said, trying once again to convince everyone that things would be ok if they just allowed him to see Jude.

 

“Not you too!” exclaimed Mariana, while Callie just rolled her eyes at Connor, before perching herself next to Taylor on the desk.

 

“Nice try Connor, but we’re not letting you see Jude. It’s just one night, it won’t kill you.” Callie said.

 

“Plus, I actually have something for you.” Said Mariana, searching for something in her purse, before pulling out a familiar looking blue little bottle. “Because I’m the best sister-in-law ever, I bought you your something blue!”

 

Connor’s eyes lit up with happiness when he noticed the bottle, and a huge smile broke on his face.

 

“What do you say Con? Want to make yourself pretty for our boy tomorrow? Paint them up for old time’s sake?” asked Taylor with a soft smile on her face.

 

By now, all of their friends and family knew the importance of blue nail polish in their relationship, and Connor knew that even Taylor, his most sarcastic and pessimistic friend thought it was cute that they would still occasionally pain each other’s nails.

 

When Connor simply smiled and nodded, Mariana made her way towards the bed and sat down next to Connor, before she painted his nails.

 

After a night of laughter with Taylor and reminiscing with his dad, it was finally time for Connor and Jude to get married and Connor and Taylor made their way towards the venue.

 

Jude and Connor had elected to get married on the beach, where they had spent so many important moments together when they were younger. The wedding party was small, only composed of their families and close friends, and looking around the beach where everyone was standing in the sand, towards a simple white arch where Lena’s father was waiting to officiate the ceremony, Connor couldn’t imagine anything more perfect for his wedding day.

 

Connor was suddenly pulled from his thoughts by the feeling of a hand taking his, and he turned around to smile at his husband-to-be. When he looked at Jude, Connor’s breath caught in his throat.

 

Jude had a radiant smile lighting up his face, and the black suit he was wearing fit him perfectly, highlighting his broad chest and slim waist. Connor looked him up and down and felt like the luckiest man in the world. He was marrying his first love, his childhood sweetheart, the love of his life, and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

 

Connor squeezed Jude’s hand and smiled in happiness, but before him or Jude had the time to say anything, the music announcing their entrance started playing. Connor and Jude had decided that since neither of them were brides, they would just walk down the aisle and towards the arch at the same time, and give themselves to each other, they wanted to do this just like they did everything else, together.

 

Once they reached the arch and stood face to face, Connor looked towards Jude and admired his future husband. He smiled when he saw the dark blue tie that matched his own, a symbol of their past together and the love they shared. While Jude was in a black suit, Connor himself was wearing a dark grey one, and he couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled out of him when he noticed that if he liked the way Jude looked, Jude himself wasn’t indifferent to the suit Connor was wearing.

 

Hearing Connor’s laugh, Jude looked at Connor’s eyes and the other boy just winked in answer, before taking Jude’s hands in his. When he saw the blue that was coloring Jude’s nails, another laugh escaped Connor’s mouth, and Jude looked at him in surprise.

 

“I’m guessing Mariana orchestrated all of this? I guess it’s a good thing we’re getting married, since we’re matching and all.” Said Connor with a smile, lifting both of his hands and wiggling his fingers in front of Jude’s face for the other man to see that he too, was wearing the blue nail polish that had followed them throughout their relationship.

 

“I guess it is.” Answered Jude, with a huge smile. “Now would you settle down so that we can get married already?” He continued, before he took Connor’s hands in his.

 

Connor smiled in answer to Jude’s bossiness, but settled down. From the corner of his eye, he could see a few members of the Adams-Fosters family were rolling their eyes and the boy’s antics, while a few others were laughing with affection at the two goofs who were currently laughing and cracking jokes, even on their own wedding day, and he heard Taylor’s “Oh my god” which was said with equal amount of annoyance and fondness.

 

Connor focused back on Jude and only Jude, and took the other boy’s hands in his, painted-blue fingers twisting with each other. Connor looked at Jude’s face, then looked down at their hands, and he felt a huge smile taking over his face, not listening to a word of what Lena’s father was saying. He couldn’t wait to spend the rest of his life with the man in front of him.

 

* * *

 

**6\. The hospital (+1)**

 

Jude couldn’t quite believe that he wasn’t asleep, and having one of the worst nightmares in his life. In his twenty eight years of life, he had known pain, loss, and sadness, but what he was feeling right now was something he hadn’t even fathomed feeling. He couldn’t quite wrap his head around the fact that only 48 hours ago, it had been one of the most exciting and happy day of his life, and everything had changed so quickly.

 

Sitting in front of the plastic bassinet in the hospital, Jude was having one of the worst days of his life, and he just wanted it to end.

 

He looked at the tiny little human being lying in front of him, and Jude smiled sadly at her. He knew it wasn’t true, he didn’t want things to end, he would stay here forever if it meant spending some more time with his daughter, he just wanted things to get better.

 

Jude sighed and rested his forehead against the plastic of the bassinet inside of which the baby was sleeping peacefully. If Jude only focused on her face, he could almost ignore the tubes that were coming out of her nose and pretend that his little girl was perfectly healthy.

 

Jude lifted his sleeve, squeezed his hand in the whole on the bassinet made for this purpose, and laid his hand on his daughter tummy. It was moving up and down with every breath she was taking, and Jude tried to find comfort in the fact that she was in fact, still breathing and fighting to stay alive.

 

The last two days had been a total nightmare for Jude and Connor. Everything had started when they had gotten a call from the hospital saying that their surrogate mother had gone into labor, even though their baby wasn’t supposed to be born for another month and a half.

 

After Monique had spent many painful hours in labor, she had finally given birth to their tiny and beautiful daughter, and for a moment, it looked like Jude and Connor had finally gotten everything they had ever dreamed of. They were together, they had a child, and they couldn’t be happier.

 

The happiness had been short lived however, and soon enough, the doctors had started to panic at the fact that the baby hadn’t started crying yet. Before Jude and Connor could really realize what was happening, the doctors had whisked their daughter away, and they didn’t know if they would be able to ever see their daughter properly.

 

Thankfully, the doctors had been able to help her and although she had to stay in an incubator and breathe through tubes, at least she was alive. Their daughter was alive, and trying to come back to them, and that was all that mattered right now.

 

Because she had been born so prematurely, there had been some complications, and she hadn’t quite been able to breathe by herself quite yet. The doctors had told Jude and Connor that the next 48 hours were crucial, and that if the baby became stronger in the next two days, her chances of surviving and living normally would increase immensely.

 

Since their daughter had been born without being able to breathe properly, it was as if Jude and Connor had also lost the ability to breathe normally. Both of them were terrified that their daughter wouldn’t make it, and although this was supposed to be the some of the best days of their lives, they couldn’t make themselves be happy until they knew their daughter would be ok.

 

“I believe in you baby girl, please just wake up and make me and Papa the happiest men on the face of the earth okay? We’re all waiting for you.” Jude whispered, caressing his daughter’s tummy softly as to not wake her up.

 

Jude was pulled out of his thoughts when Mariana entered the room, and looked at him so much sadness and worry. Jude could only imagine how devastated he must look for his ever cheerful sister to be looking at him with such worry.

 

“How is our little Julia doing?” she asked Jude, while she took the seat next to his to look at her niece sleeping.

 

“She…” Jude started to say, before clearing his throat when his voice cracked with the word. “She’s sleeping. Doctor Simons came a while ago and said that she appeared to be getting stronger and that this was a good sign, but she can’t quite breathe by herself yet.”

 

“She’ll be okay Jude, you have to believe that. Us Fosters are made of strong stuff, I’m sure she’ll be just fine.” Mariana tried to reassure her brother.

 

“Foster-Stevens. She’s not just a Foster. Julia Mary Foster-Stevens, that’s her full name.” Jude announced, saying her full name for the first time since she was born.

 

“Mary…?” Mariana asked, clearly curious to see if her suspicions were founded.

 

“Mary for one of her strongest and most supporting aunts, with whom none of this would have happened.” Explained Jude, turning towards his sister with a soft smile, the first one that graced his face since his daughter had been born.

 

“Oh Jude…” Mariana said, tears welling in her eyes, before she pushed forward to hug Jude. “Thank you. I’m honored. And I can’t wait to see her grow up and teach her how to be a badass and a genius.”

 

Jude just smiled sadly in answer, knowing that Mariana was trying to be optimistic and be strong, but not quite able to believe her words yet.

 

“Speaking of Foster-Stevens, where’s Connor?” Mariana asked, noticing that he was nowhere to be seen.

 

“You know Connor, he couldn’t stand just waiting around doing nothing. I don’t know exactly what he went to do, he said he would be back later, I think he just needed to clear his head.” Jude explained.

 

Mariana put an arm around Jude, and pulled her little brother towards her. She rested her head on Jude’s shoulder, and they both sat there looking at Julia sleeping.

 

After a while, Mariana stood up and kissed Jude on the cheek.

 

“You have to have hope Jude. She’s a fighter, just like her fathers. You have to believe in her.” Mariana said softly, squeezing his shoulder, before making her way out of the room.

 

Jude remained sitting in front of the bassinet for hours, and he didn’t take his eyes away from his daughter. When Connor entered the room a few hours later, Jude was still sitting in the same place, although he was now smiling softly at Julia who had woken up and was valiantly attempting to hold his finger with her tiny hand.

 

When Jude heard a noise behind him, he turned towards the door and saw Connor standing there with a devastated look on his face. The other man was wearing a shirt covered in paint, and he looked so sad and devastated. Jude hated seeing that look on Connor’s face, always had, ever since they were thirteen and each other’s best friend.

 

Connor made his way to Jude and sat in the chair Mariana had occupied a few hours ago.

 

“I realized we hadn’t had the time to finish the nursery yet. She needs a room and somewhere to sleep when she can come home.” Connor said, his voice cracking at the end of the sentence, and silent tears running down his cheeks.

 

Jude looked at Connor with a sad look, and he lifted his arm so Connor could nestle against his chest. Jude pressed a kiss to Connor’s temple and just held him tight with one arm while taking Connor’s hand with the other one.

 

When he took Connor’s hand in his, Jude noticed the blue paint that was all over Connor’s finger, and his heart squeezed as he recognized the familiar color.

 

He felt Connor shrug against his chest when the other man seemed to notice Jude looking at his fingers.

 

“I thought she could need the extra strength, and we hadn’t decided on a color for the nursery yet, so…” Connor explained, and Jude felt love swell in his chest at his husband’s thoughtfulness. “I brought the bottle if you want.” He added.

 

“Actually, that’s not a bad idea.” Jude answered with a sad smile, before pressing a soft kiss to Connor’s lips when the other man straightened up. “I love you.”

 

“I love you too.” Connor said, and Jude could see the love and despair he was feeling reflected in Connor’s eyes.

 

A few hours later, the nurse made her way into the room where Julia was kept. Jude and Connor were leaning against each other, holding each other’s hand and resting the other on their daughter’s body. Both of them had blue nail polish on one of their pinky fingers, and Jude hoped the nurse wouldn’t comment on two grown men painting their nails. He really needed the war paint right now.

 

Thankfully, the nurse didn’t make any comments and smiled kindly at them before making her way to the monitor that was hooked at Julia. She looked something up on the chart she was carrying.

 

“Her vitals are improving, she’s getting stronger and stronger.” The nurse stated to explain, “The doctor said that she could probably come out of the incubator for a few hours at least and breathe by herself. Would you two like to hold her? I think skin contact and your voices could be exactly what she needs right now.”

 

Jude looked at Connor and he saw the same hope he felt reflected on Connor’s face, he turned towards the nurse and smiled softly at her.

 

“That would be perfect, thank you so much. Should we just…” he said, indicating to his shirt.

 

“Yeah, you could take them off. Naked skin is good for babies her age and usually help soothe them. Plus, she recognizes her parent’s voices, and I’m sure she’ll be able to feel the love when you hold her. I think that might be the best remedy.” She said with a kind smile.

 

Jude and Connor both took their shirts off, and when the nurse took Julia out of the incubator and put her in Connor’s arms, Jude felt tears moistening his eyes. The image of a shirtless Connor holding Julia into his arms and hugging her close to him was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

 

Jude stepped closer to Connor and crowded into his two favorite people in the world, putting his arms around Connor and kissing Julia’s belly. He looked at Connor and felt hope growing into his chest. He had been through so much with this boy, and they would get through this and have their happy ending, he had to believe that.

 

Connor looked up at Jude, and Jude smiled lovingly, before kissing Connor.

 

“I love you both so much.” He whispered, and Connor smiled and kissed Jude softly in answer. “Now Julia Foster-Stevens, let me tell you the story of your daddies and blue nail polish, it’s quite the fairy tale…”

 


End file.
